Lost Cause
Since I can't seem to find the energy or enthusiasm to blog anymore, thanks toSnickollet for providing me with a meme so that I can preserve the illusion that I'm still a blogger. I suspect some of these are gonna hurt, and lordy am I dull as dishwater:20 years ago I . . .
1. had a 4.0 GPA
2. was waiting tables
3. thought that I would never get married
10 years ago I . . .
1. met my husband when he answered a "roommate needed" ad
2. left my home state for the one I am still in
3. started my doctoral program
5 years ago I . . .
1. started teaching at the school where I now have a tenure-line job
2. was eagerly anticipating the birth of the world's most fabulous niece (born in June of that year)
3. went on leave from my graduate school program
3 years ago I . . .
1. got married. Okay, it was three and 1/2 years, but close enough
2. sometimes didn't feel like I deserved to be as happy as I was (ditto, Snick, ditto)
3. mailed our adoption paperwork to China
1 year ago I . . .
1. bought a house
2. had not finished my disseration
3. still thought that my husband would miraculously beat his disease, or at least live for three more years
So far this year I . . .
1. lost my husband
2. earned my PhD
3. forgot what happiness really feels like
Yesterday I . . .
1. stood for a long moment in my backyard, smelling the gentle sweetness of the blossoms on a gnarled old tree
2. cleaned out the rabbit's cage
3. missed my husband
Today I . . .
1. have an observer visiting my class
2. will finish and mail the book review I've been dawdling over
3. miss my husband
Tomorrow I will . . .
1. miss my husband
2. pick up my vacuum cleaner from its tune-up
3. get my daughter her first-ever hair cut
In the next year I will . . .
1. miss my husband
2. continue to love my daughter insanely and to be surprised by her daily
3. get a dog
posted by Unknown @ 9:53 PM
2 Comments:
Hey, thanks for sharing. As for being dull as dishwater, hardly. *I* never had a 4.0 GPA!
For the record, I am firmly in your "1 year ago [point 3]" camp right now. That could have been one of my "Today" entries.
You and your daughter are in my thoughts even when you're not posting. In fact, I was just talking about you with GH yesterday. As he sat thorough hours of infustions, he was bolstered by the thought that this regimen had been helpful--if only too briefly--for your husband. And he was glad that I had found you, if only too sad about what you've been through. He's thinking of you, too.
De-lurking because your post was overwhelmingly bittersweet. I love your last point: getting a dog! To get out of my depression I became a volunteer at an animal shelter. Your courage and strength as you brave each day is amazing. I, for one, drop by your blog daily to "check up on you"...i.e. to keep you in my thoughts and prayers, to remind myself of how lucky I am, and...to see if you've posted something and/or to read others' comments. Sorta like dropping by the local newspaper store to say "hi."
Know that you are in our hearts and on our minds daily...
Critter
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