Had I the courageI'd like to respond to some of my students' crappy efforts like this guy. Not, of course, that I would respond so churlishly to hard work by deserving but unskilled students. But it would be so darn satisfying to bring back the red pen and corresponding tone of scorn I remember from my own teachers "back in the day": "Your ideas are half baked and the phrasing of them atrocious." "English has a vast array of ways to join clauses; you, apparently, have mastered only one: 'and.' Try some of the others one of these days." Ah, school days..
I long for tenure, so I can be evil with complete impunity.