Sunday, February 20, 2005

Laughing my maternal ass off!

Okay, my diss is a shambles and I can barely keep up with my job—the kind of job one's not supposed to have until after the g.d. diss is done...trust me to fuck up something so obvious, like "Degree first, then the job." (Yes, I'm the one with the socks on over her shoes).
But at least my darling daughter is not a vulva-obsessed humping machine like this woman's...

Oh, I expected that El Pistola would discover the joys of the clitoris when she entered puberty, so that's not what I mean by "eventually." I mean RIGHT FUCKING NOW. And I don't mean a little casual exploration of the clitoris, either. Yeah, she likes to reach down, pat her vulva (aside--why does this spellcheck not recognize "vulva?" Clearly the work of a heterosexual man), and say, "Bulba" when I change her diaper, and sometimes she'll play around. Not a big deal, and so not what I'm talking about.

Here is what I mean: This girl humps incessantly, and she humps EVERYTHING. Her cartoon-character themed, little flip-out couch; the floor; the bed; and even her Elmo alphabet toy. Let me tell ya, watching my toddler hump and grind away as Elmo shouts out, "R! Rrr-rrr-R! R!" is not exactly the way I pictured toddlerhood going down. Tantrums? Check. Separation anxiety? Check. Masturbation? Eh, not so much.


That's just a sample...read it yourself.

9 Comments:

At 11:03 AM , Blogger Jim Naka said...

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This report included details of studies which highlight the overall health benefits of Rhodiola Rosea.

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