Bleak House
I've just returned from a few days away at a conference, and the house is dark, silent, and empty. My husband and daughter have been staying with family while I have been away and I got in too late for them to come back tonight.There are new and ever more frightening complications on the horizon; severe liver problems that are scary enough in themselves, but even worse since they appear to rule out any more chemotherapy, and our available alternatives are fewer and fewer. I have the awful feeling that the doctors are just waiting for the next opportunity to tell us there's "nothing more they can do"--and I suddenly realize how much of my strength in this ordeal is denial, pure and simple. Most days, I can forget there's this likely impending tragedy, and that life has dealt us this awful, awful blow. I'm afraid I'm not going to have that luxury--of forgetting for a few hours that things are this bad--for much longer. I want to hope, but can't find many numbers or plans to hang that hope upon.
For now, more tests, more drugs, and more pain.
posted by Unknown @ 11:28 PM
7 Comments:
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The comment from Mr. Assclown above: Most. Inappropriate. Comment. Ever.
I'm very sorry to hear this news, D. Rest assured that there are many of us out here who are thinking of you and your family.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
I'm so sorry, Dorcasina. I am thinking of all of you and wishing you strength.
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Thinking of you and your family. I'm so sorry this is how it is for you. Here's hoping you find the love and support you need to bolster you.
So, so sorry, Dorcasina. Wish there were words to comfort you, but you are much in my thoughts.
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