Monday, March 17, 2008

My three wishes

This is how my horizons have shrunk. I believe that I could achieve relative harmony with the universe if the gods would send me someone to

1. Test and discard all non-functioning pens, pencils, and other writing implements--including those pencils whose lead broke off up inside, making them irritatingly impervious to sharpening.

2. Sharpen my knives so that they go through cold chicken (boneless) more readily than through my fingers (which have bones...although not as many as they used to!).

3. Match all my plastic containers to their lids and throw out the unmatching, stained, and horribly warped ones so I don't have to lament the landfill space I am using up (I have a lifetime's worth of empty salad, yogurt, etc. containers that I feel too guilty to throw out and cannot recycle).

See? At heart, I am a simple girl. Or a pathetic one.



At 12:00 PM , Blogger Snickollet said...

Would you believe that I:

1. just went through my pen/pencil cup last week and threw away anything that required sharpening, had dried out, had a poor feel in my hand, or whatever else made them unsatisfactory. I only kept the good stuff. I swear I felt 1,000 times lighter emotionally.

2. am lucky enough to have a hardware store walking-distance from my house that does same-day knife sharpening for $2/knife.

3. I can recycle plastics, so I do. Bummer that you can't.

This was not a helpful comment. I am sorry. All I can say is that these simple things can make a world of difference.

At 3:20 PM , Blogger Dorcasina said...

Dearest Snick,
1. You are a GODDESS. Wow--I am completely overwhelmed by the task.

2. Lucky you. I have a great educational toy store, acceptable Mexican food, and a FAN-effing-tastic shoe repair place within a few blocks, but no knife-sharpeners. But I will try calling some hardware stores. Or butchers?

3. I can recycle *most* plastics, but not the yogurt/cottage cheese containers that now spring with malice and forethought from every single cupboard I have. I confess, though, that my mother frequently does a search and destroy mission on them when her visit runs too long. That gives me an idea....

At 8:13 AM , Blogger Snickollet said...

Clearly it's time for Mom to visit. Or, perhaps, you should make a HUGE pot of soup, fill all the containers, and give them away to your friends? Perhaps that's more work than it's worth, alas.

I might be willing to trade the walking distance to knife sharpening for walking distance to acceptable Mexican. Think we can work something out?


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