Thursday, March 3, 2005

Not so dumb as I look

Well, I don't think I am, anyway. But why can't I get the hang of the whole blogrolling thing? Everyone else's blog has a cool, readily updated list'o'links to their favorite and relevant blogs--but my "blogroll me" thing is floating out in the middle of my blog, and I can just barely manage to add a link--plus the title for the blog friends is invisible. I like to imagine that I am reasonably capable of following basic directions, but can't get it straight. Even my husband, who actually designs shit like this can't yet make it work right. Perhaps it's a Mac thing? A Safari thing? Or did I just become enamored of the polka dot template (polka dots are a big source of dialogue with our two year old daughter) and not realize it was going to be incompatible with creating a community of blogheads? Grrrr.

Re: the title of this post: a friend and I, having been "nicely" dumped by a few too many men who accused us of being "too smart" (i.e., too much work, too challenging to their masculine identity, whatever) decided that our tombstones would carry a fitting epitaph for all smart and mouthy girls: "She was too smart, and she thought she was funny." Worse cannot apparently be said of a single woman (and yes, this is grossly sexist, and, in fact, I have had the stunningly good luck to find and marry a man who likes me too smart, and thinks I'm funny. So this is not a blanket indictment of men so much as a confession to having dated the wrong ones--or having been too combative in my smartness back when I felt young and good looking).


At 5:16 PM , Blogger ABDmom said...

I love it! I got the same crap before BH--"You're too intimidating," etc. WAH. Not to mention the men who wouldn't even look twice. I thought it was something wrong with me until I realized that the only thing "wrong" was my refusal to be a bimbo and actually have my own thoughts and opinions. You're not alone on that. That's why I fear for El Pistola if she is straight--or even if she's gay, for that matter (same sex doesn't necessarily equal enlightened relationships, after all). I don't want her to have to deal with all that crap, and I can already see that she is spunky and smart. I hope she finds someone who loves her for those qualities in the way her dad loves me.

OK, I make my bloglist through fooling with the template. I didn't like the way the one I created through blogrolling turned out, so I did it on my own. I am by NO means a techie, so if I can do it, you can, too. Here's a link to the article that taught me how:

Let me know how it goes.

At 6:52 AM , Blogger Dorcasina said...

Thanks--for the supportive comments and the info on blogrolling...I'll get my husband right on it ;)
In my case, I do think that I was giving off (in addition to smart and opinionated) vibes that said "I don't need you"--I had to grow up a bit myself (and find a completely amazing man) in order to realize that I could relax and not always be in charge. But yes--our daughters sound a lot alike, and I fear for mine, too. (Need to find a pseudonym for her that's half so clever as "El Pistola")
It depresses the *hell* out of me to see my smart, audacious, brilliant female students dating some of the loutish sexist men on our campus--and stifling themselves in class to give the louts plenty of space. My current senior seminar has 12 women, 3 straight men, and one gay man. Guess who does a whole lot of the talking?


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