Monday, December 3, 2007

If only it were just that simple

Scene: Dorcasina and daughter snuggling in bed. 7:15 a.m. Daughter has turned 5 the previous day.

Dorcasina's Daughter: Mama, what is being Dead?

Dorcasina: It's when your body stops working. It means you are no longer part of our world.

D's D: My Papa is dead. He's not a part of our world.

D: That's right.

D's D [waits just a second too long, which suggests a certain intentionality and perhaps even a bit of manipulation in what follows]: I know! [too brightly]. Maybe we can find me a new papa.

D: Well, it's not that easy to find someone as special as your papa.

D's D: Well, maybe we can ask some of our friends if one of them can be my papa!

D [envisioning how this will go over among her male friends, and groaning to herself]: Ummmm...maybe that's not such a good idea...

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7 Comments:

At 6:20 AM , Blogger Snickollet said...

Definitely not that easy.

Happy belated birthday to your girl. Five--so grown up!

 
At 9:08 AM , Blogger Julia said...

Oh, man... Wonder for how long she was planning this one?
And yes, not that easy.
It must break your heart that her memories are fading enough that she can ask this now. I am sorry.

 
At 11:39 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know this must have been a difficult conversation for you, but I hope you can at least find peace knowing that she may be more willing to accept a new man in your life when that time comes. Not all children respond well to a "new papa." As for memories, even if she starts to forget some of the wonderful times with her dad, I am sure she will look back someday and realize she absolutely had two parents who loved and cared for her and who wanted nothing but the best for her.

- A (lurker)

 
At 5:16 AM , Anonymous Mme X said...

Oh darling. How hard that must have been.

Miss you.

 
At 6:01 AM , Blogger Yankee T said...

You know, it might be (and this is just my experience, so may be total bullshit, and feel free to discount) that something as simple as getting an uncle or a male friend to stand in at school plays, etc., with you, will fulfill a small need-there were times when my kids wanted to "look" like the other families for a minute, even though they understood it was not really getting them a father. Just a thought. You can tell me to shut up if you want to.

 
At 11:44 PM , Blogger OTRgirl said...

Wow, that has the potential to set up some very interesting scenarios!

By the way, I loved your description of your husband whipping the cream. It made me miss someone I've never met.

 
At 11:14 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dorcacina...

Thanks for bringing on the tears.

My 8 year-old son son knows his sixty-nine year dad is different than the dads of his schoolmates.

So...We just play together like pirates in the toy store of life.

God, I'll miss him when I have to take the lonely walk.

May gentle winds fill your sails.

GaleH

 

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