I am not a souseBut you wouldn't know it to hear my daughter talk.
Tonight, we are rolling out pizza crust in the kitchen, discussing our topping options:
Mama: Well, we could have pine nuts on our pizza...
Darling Daughter, (suspiciously): Why? What are they?
Mama (extracting one from bag and popping it in DD's mouth as if she were a baby bird): They're yummy and toasty. They are good for us! [thinks, When did I become the freakin' food pyramid spokesperson, anyway? SHOOT ME!]* See?
DD: No, thank you, Mama. Maybe with cocktails, but not on my pizza...
Mama (stunned into silence): ---
*I should point out that, ever precocious, my daughter has picked up the mantra I use to encourage her to eat something besides noodles and bread products. "I'm eating my protein, Mama," she lisps sweetly, "because I do not live by STARCH ALONE." She slays me.
Labels: child protective services