Free to Good Home
One-time only offer!One 4.5 year old girl, with less than 20K miles.
This is the upgraded, import version, featuring:
*Sturdy digestive system, developed by time spent on the floors of third world country.
*Airport friendly: has already traveled from China-U.S., and multiple domestic travels.
*Healthy appetite: no known allergies or sensitivities. As a bonus, she enjoys most vegetables!
*Completely housebroken, except when she's "too busy" to make it to the bathroom.
*Self-bathing, with moderate supervision.
*Excellent weeder, chopper of vegetables, and stirrer of batter.
*Skilled dog-wrangler, cat feeder, and laundry folder.
*Literate: can decipher most 3- and some 4-letter words.
*Accounting skills: Can count to 20-14, addition between 0 and 10.
*Artistically skilled--cottage industry possibilities.
Minor defects include: Occasional bouts of surliness, inexplicable willfulness, and a non-debilitating addiction to "Angelina Ballerina" and "Thomas the Tank Engine." Video/DVD library included.
This child has had all vaccinations, regular dental and medical check-ups, and has been cared for impeccably (okay, maybe a bit too much chocolate milk). With a diet of gruel and hard labor, she can certainly go another 250K miles and care for you lavishly in your old age.
Apply below.
Labels: tongue-in-cheek
posted by Unknown @ 9:34 AM
6 Comments
